Fake It Until You Make It

I think I have the Monday Blues, and it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to. Today I’m really feeling my LE. It’s 95F but it “feels like” 102F with 44% humidity. I have lymphedema in both legs and my right leg is throbbing. THROBBING!!!! It seems impossible to me that we are midway through September. This heat still lingers.

It also seems impossible to me that I have had this disease for 24 years. Time flies so fast. Symptoms change over time.

Here’s the thing, last night I took my son to a concert he’s been wanting to go to like forever. It was at NRG stadium, home to the NFL team here. I chose optimum seating close to the aisle, 3 rows down from entry, and close to the bathroom. I paid extra to park as close as possible.

I went through all these steps to ensure that I could survive the night, and it was completely worth it. My son was absolutely elated and his face was priceless. He earned it too. He’s a great kid. I know I’m biased like all Moms are, but he just teaches me to be better every single day. We had a great time.

Tonight we are headed to a Houston Astros game at Minute Maid Park where they are handing out World Series replica rings. An estimated 50,000 people will be there. My husband will drop us at the front. Another massive crowd. Both of them are so excited. They are chatting away about it.

I love baseball, so I have a smile on my face too.

A smile to mask the pain.

Does my family know I’m hurting? No. They do a lot for me and make a lot of sacrifices for me on a regular basis. Tonight I choose to fake it until I make it. At least try. The quote below is from a song about a broken heart, but it’s the line that comes to mind when I have my flare up.

Like a clown I put on a show. The pain is real even if nobody knows. And I’m crying inside and nobody knows it but me. -Babyface

I know I’m not the only person that does this on a regular basis, so I’m not claiming to be some kind of hero or martyr. Far from it.

It’s just at times like this I’m very vividly reminded that my walking years are numbered and probably far less than the average person. I’m pushing through and enjoying what I can while I can. I also know that this too shall come to pass.

Drop a comment on how you handle events at major arenas or venues.

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