Really, I think Lymphedema is like dealing with any devastating news, especially a degenerative illness.
You go through the 7 stages of grief:
- shock and denial
- pain and guilt
- anger and bargaining
- depression
- the turn around
- reconstruction
- acceptance
Make peace with it and strive for the acceptance phase.
Lymphedema is as damaging psychologically as it is physically. Or it can be. Sooner of later you realize you either let it take you or you fight back with all your prayers, faith, power, and might.
Veronica
Let’s talk about coping with Lymphedema. Whether you are primary or secondary, the one thing that goes through everyone’s mind is “How am I going to live with this for the rest of my life?” You just did an internet search and are horrified.
What do you mean it’s incurable?
Why didn’t anybody tell me?
If you have had it for awhile, you think about the stares and the comments.
Common comments I have heard:
“Oh, you’re just lazy.” “You look normal to me.” “You’re faking it.” “You just need to lose weight.” “It’s all in your head.” “It’s just a little swelling, no big deal.” “Why are you wearing that stocking or sleeve in this heat?” “Does it hurt?” “Did you know your legs are swollen?” “God is punishing you for something.” “Why don’t you amputate your legs?”
Hmmm.. Really? I mean, seriously, really? This is just the tip of the iceberg. Opinions are like you know what, and everybody has one on how to solve your Lymphedema. You might lose friends and family over these comments. I say, “Good Riddance!”
I think it was partly due to these comments that I spent a lot of time dwelling in stages 1-4 of my grief process. Grief over what I was told I could no longer do. Grief over feeling disfigured. Losing things that I loved to do like travel and dance. Who wants to live with constraints? Nobody!
Toxicity has no place in your life. It is already pooling in your lymphatic system physically. Fatigue is a symptom of Lymphedema because our immune systems are constantly turned on and fighting the swelling. Why allow psychological toxicity in your life? It’s easier said than done, but hold your head high. You are part of a community that is 10 million people strong. They understand what you are going through, even if your neighbor doesn’t. Check that, even if your own family doesn’t.
The best advice I can give anyone newly diagnosed with Lymphedema is to make peace with it as soon as you can. Strive for the acceptance phase in the grief process. Sooner or later you realize you can either let it take you or you fight back with all your prayers, faith, power, and might.
Stay Lymphie Strong!
–Veronica
I could not have said it better. This sounds just like me in the beginning. I am so happy I have learned to accept it. Keeping on inspiring.
Thanks, Sheila! You are equally inspirational. 🙂
Thank you for being such a shining light in this tunnel that can be so dark at times!
Happy to do it! Have a great day and keep smiling 😃
Janette Stephens Thank you so much , Veronica So true. Quite a pick-me up !!
So welcome 🌸🌸. Stay strong, Janette. You can do it! 😃
Thanks Veronica!!! I appreciate you taking the time to write this blog. The information is so helpful for a newly diagnosed lymphedema sufferer. I had suffered with leg swelling and discomfort for several years before finally getting a diagnosis. It was like the doctors danced all around the “L” word. Thankfully, I found an awesome lymphedema therapist! You have pretty much hit the nail on the head with the stages of denial and the comments people make. Thank you again and keep up the good work.
Thank you, Sandy! Best wishes on your reduction journey. Would love to hear how it goes. Keep me posted. Take Care! 😃
You are so right…struggled, denied, angered, ..all went thru my walk with this “condition”. Till I realized I have to come to terms with it…deal with it the best I could, not let it conquer me, but rise higher..and guess what? That’s what has happened…lets all join and fight it!!!!✌🏼️✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼
Thank you do much. This is so encouraging. I feel like I have come to accept what cantbe changed and learning new ways to live. I have to admit the anger and hurt come out some days. The days I throw my wraps and pout and cry in anger but they are few. We can stay strong in this together. I have really grown through your inspiration and God. Thank you!
You are equally inspirational, and I love what you have done to spread Lymphedema awareness through your video. We will stay strong in this together. Thank you for your kind words. 💜
Thank you..i really appreciate ur words…souad a big lymphie strong 😢
Thanks, Veronica. Your message was important for me to hear today. I’ve recently started lymphedema therapy. I’m often overwhelmed even though my husband is very supportive. It’s good to hear about the journeys of others.
Thanks for the feedback. Stay strong, you are definitely not alone. All the best, Veronica 💜
By Lymphedema therapy do you mean Manual Lymphatic Drainage massage?
Yes, Complete Decongestive Therapy (CDT) which includes manual lymphatic drainage (MLD). 🙂
Are you from Canada. I live in Calgary
Take care
I am from the United States. You can friend me on Facebook at Stay Lymphie Strong. All the best. 😊
I am learn how take care of primary lymphedema but some time I am lot of pain when I walk. I got depressed first time found out had Lymphedema change live forever no cure. I could not look in mirror because. Right side swollen all way to hip leg and foot. So swollen. Now I try eat right loste weight help some swollen down and exercise . I lose about 32 pounds on weight watches . I get some support from my family and friend .
Thank you for sharing your story, Danielle. Congratulations! Keep up the great work! 😊